Wow!!! I thought i had forever lost this place--i changed laptops i think like 3 times in the interim, i forgot how to enter my blog. In fact I forgot it even existed for a while there. I've recovered a part of myself tonight. 10 years since my last post. My goodness how time flies. I started reading some of my old posts--in some ways i'm still very much the same person and in other ways i've changed a lot. I cringe partially to revisit some of these posts and others make me smile.The things that seemed so important really aren't that important anymore. In fact, objectively speaking, i don't think they ever were important, but when you're living through them they seem like the world to you. I've got a lot of housecleaning to do here. I intend to come back and post a few more times after 10 years. It's still my thoughts and i don't expect anyone reads this or cares, but it's all part of having a little self respect and taking the time to put things in order.
Life didn't work out at all the way i thought it would all those years ago. And when i say it didn't work out the way i thought, i mean in many ways--not just one or two aspects of my life. But then again, i suspect that for most of us it doesn't work out the way we first thought it would. Life seems to be part planning, part improvising, and a lot of faith in the goodness of God. The real important thing is what type of person are you? do you let God work through you? Are people better for having known you? Are you spreading joy and positivity to others where you go? or are you living only for yourself? Ultimately that's the only thing that matters. The rest is just ephemeral.
Life goes by quickly. Time is objective but it is also subjective. When I was a kid everything seemed to take forever, it seems now that life is speeding up more and more. One day slips into another--sometimes i don't even know what day of the week it is with everything that needs to be done at school.At one point i was a young man in my 20's--now i'm 51 and already thinking about things like retirement and of course burial insurance, not because i'm in a life threatening situation right now, but rather because id rather not be a burden to anyone in my future. That's what lies ahead of course even though many would prefer not to think about it. The top of the roller coaster was reached a while back, the only thing that remains is the ride down. But that's good too--it is the natural order of things and there many things to be grateful about. The shortness of life is why what we do with our lives is the most important thing. It is a responsibility. Yes, believe it or not, we are mere stewards of our lives too. We don't own ourselves even though many times we think we do. It sounds like a cliche but it is as true as the fact that the sun will come up tomorrow.
Lots to do in the next coming weeks--but ill be back to post on some things that have been happening and just my general musings. See you soon.
