I am pretty much a loner, at first by circumstance (no one really wanted to be with me when I was younger--I was the nerdy kid who was always being made fun of) and later on in life--pretty much by choice as I grew accustomed to not having that many people hanging around and after observing in college that most people tend to be annoying, or superficial/ petty. Anyway, lest I sound as if I hate humanity, I should say that I do indeed make friends!! They tend to be few in numbers but good in quality. It takes me a while to get to know someone and even longer to let them into my inner circle.
Yesterday was the birthday of Kevin--a person that I consider to be one of my closest of friends. He is from Korea and a great guy--we sing together in praise team, in chamber group at church, in choir( which is much larger than the chamber group), and help each other to set up the sound equipment in church, aside from just hanging out and just chatting. Kevin tends to be understated in speech, but deep in thought and is a man of prayer. He was a teacher of religion in Korea. We also serve together in our church's community services dept. Cynthia-- who is my other best friend ( beautiful and also somewhat of an enigma as most women are) contacted me and suggested that we do something for Kevin's b-day yesterday and I readily agreed. We settled on going to Zenith's Vegetarian Dining (311 West 48th St) in the heart of the theater district in Manhattan NYC. I knew the place for I had previously taken Cynthia there for her birthday and since both of us had such a good time there the last time we were there, it seemed only natural to "share" the place with our other friends. The other person who was there was Olga-- a very nice girl from Russia, God fearing, quiet and reliable, red hair and freckles. Church treasurer, alto in the choir, and until recently was solely in charge of printing bulletins on friday night--but a few months ago thankfully she managed to get help so she doesn't have to do it all alone. She's a very nice addition to the group --sweet disposition and always has cookies in her purse in case of a sudden attack of the munchies--as Cynthia will happily attest to!!
Anyway, We all decided to meet at the restaurant. The place is one of those rare restaurants that has a perfect all around atmosphere--whether it be for a romantic date or just a group hang out with friends. Enya was singing smoothly in the background and we were surrounded by asian wall scrolls and tastefully positioned tealights. My favorite was a wall scroll to my back that featured a happy sumo wrestler (sumotori).
It was nice to be in a restaurant where none of us had to worry about the menu. The service was excellent, the conversation was great, and the food was very good!! Most importantly there was enough of it, the portions were not too small but not too large either!!! All of us interchanged bits of our meal with each other--letting the others take a little and put it on their plate. I don't know if that's classy or not (I suspect not) but it was more of a fun night rather than a formal one--so it seemed appropriate. I had some tofu in with tomatoes and zuchinni in black bean sauce that was great and also some fried rolls topped with peanut sauce. As I had never had peanut suace before I was a little nervous, but the peanut sauce imparted a very subtle flavor as opposed to a strong or overwhelming flavor. The birthday boy Kevin had some veggie ground beef with pine nuts and red bell peppers with white noodle puffs served on top of cabbage leafs, Olga had some bok choy and mushrooms and chinese eggplant and Cynthia had a steaming bowl of tofu mixed with mushrooms and broccoli. The waiter mixed it in front of our table and the steam rose up till it seemed to envelop the small restaurant !!! Thankfully the smoke subsided after a short while--but it certainly was quite a sight!! All the food was very tasty and we had our fill. We ended the meal with two bowls of ice cream 1 per 2 people--- Kevin and Olga had green tea ice cream and Cynthia and I shared Tahitian vanilla. We spent some time in dessert discussing the difference between normal ice cream and gelato.
The only hiccup to the night's proceedings came at night's end when we had to pay. Cynthia and I had agreed to split the cost of the meal between the 2 of us as a present to Kevin, but Kevin wouldn't hear of it. He insisted on paying for everyone. It seems that what was at work here was the difference between western and eastern cultures. Apparently in Korea the birthday person as a token of gratitude for being surrounded by his friends pays for them. It is in very bad form to let them pay for you. Of course this was not what Cynthia and I had planned but finally we had to let Kevin do as he wished (after all it was his birthday) but not before Cynthia had a somewhat heated discussion with him, trying to convince him that he should allow us to pay. The discussion went long and I could tell that it was starting to fray both their nerves as neither of them wanted to give in. I'm pretty sure Cynthia finished the night pretty upset at Kevin for not letting us treat him and perhaps at me as well for not joining her in pressing Kevin. What happened is that after the third time she asked and Kevin said No--I would've just dropped it, so at that point i didn't feel comfortable joining in with Cynthia and piling on the pressure. By having the discussion continue and still insisting I'm pretty sure things started going downhill. The ride back home (Kevin gave everyone rides back home) was somewhat uncomfortable and subdued as I could feel her upset in the back of the car--the hairs in the back of my neck were all standing like some kind of real life spider-man spider sense. I'm sorry the night ended on such a sour note, but I'm happy for the good time we had as a group until that point.
I'm not quite sure what happens next---perhaps nothing. I'm hoping this will blow over, and perhaps it already has- after all, I'm writing this the day after. I keep on thinking that it would be crazy to keep a grudge over this-- but it's been my experience that with women you never know. It's a times like this that I remember the last time I was in a relationship and the very bad times I had and I am suddenly grateful that I am single even though it can be very lonely at times. Having a friend mad at you, even though it's uncomfortable, definitely cannot compare to the hell that is having a girlfriend mad at you.
Kevin I hope you had a great birthday!!
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